


Variations

by CopitoStreisand



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slice of Life, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26415220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CopitoStreisand/pseuds/CopitoStreisand
Summary: HyukJae is on the phone complaining to the aircon company when his doorbell rings and it’s Lee DongHae on his doorstep.Here’s the thing: When you’ve known someone for such a long time and so many things have transpired, yet you’ve chosen to remain friends time and time again, everything is extremely simple and excruciatingly complicated.
Relationships: Lee Donghae/Lee Hyukjae | Eunhyuk
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	1. Theme

**Author's Note:**

> Well... it's 2020 and here I am, writing EunHae again... I literally have no excuses. This started as a drabble, with a totally different mood, and then I started watching EunHae videos and it just... changed. And got longer. *Dramatic sigh*
> 
> [Also I posted all the "chapters" in one go because this is mostly a one shot but I wanted to separate them because... reasons *shrug*]

**Theme.**

HyukJae is on the phone complaining to the aircon company when his doorbell rings and it’s Lee DongHae on his doorstep.

“Surprise!”

His hair is a little longer than on their last videocall. He’s lost some weight, though his light blue tee is actually tighter on his body. Apparently, DongHae’s sporadic but intense interest in the gym has returned. He’s brought a large suitcase, _he’s planning to stay for a while,_ and there’s this odd glint in his eyes, slightly frantic.

HyukJae clocks him right away.

_Breakup._

“Excuse me, let me call you back.”

DongHae doesn’t even wait for HyukJae to put his phone away before throwing himself at his arms, hugging him in that very suffocating very marvellous very Donghae way.

“I’ve missed you.”

HyukJae sighs, melts a little, and hugs DongHae back.

“Yeah, it’s been too long.”

Here’s the thing: When you’ve known someone for such a long time and so many things have transpired, yet you’ve chosen to remain friends time and time again, everything is extremely simple and excruciatingly complicated.


	2. I

**I.**

“She wanted to get married.”

_I thought so did you._

“And it just… didn’t feel right. I thought about it, but… I. I don’t know. What’s wrong with me, Hyuk?”

HyukJae snorts but doesn’t answer. Instead, he tells the waiter they’re ready to order. 

Here’s the thing: DongHae’s the kind of infuriating hopeless romantic that _says_ he wants to settle down and start a family, but he’s also picky and temperamental and _doesn’t really._

What DongHae _actually_ wants, if he’s being honest, is HyukJae. 

They are at a vietnamese restaurant and they’ve had too many beers and not nearly enough pho to soak them up. It’s a chill, intimately lit joint, and HyukJae needs to keep repeating to himself that this is _not_ a date. 

“I’ve told you. _Many_ times” DongHae pouts, and HyukJae can’t resist rolling his eyes. Just briefly. “It’s okay to let go of expectations, Hae. Sometimes, at least.”

Minimally because he’s kinda drunk, but mostly because he _really_ wants to, HyukJae reaches out and touches DongHae’s cheek. It’s warm from alcohol, soft under his fingers. 

DongHae’s smile is small and embarrassed; it lights up his face. His eyes dart from the floor to HyukJae’s cold watch blurrying against his skin. Under half-closed lids, he sneaks a peek at his best friend. He wants to tell him everything. This moment, this touch, it all feels...

There’s so much each of them could say, but all words seem unnecessary. Although their trains of thought are running wild inside their heads, it’s like their minds can only keep still enough to soak in one another. 


	3. III

**II.**

Here’s the thing: DongHae and HyukJae… they each want a life on their own terms, and historically, these terms haven’t been exactly compatible. DongHae has planned to stay in Korea near his family and everything he’s always known. HyukJae has wanted to see everything, live everywhere. Once, while DongHae was researching French music for his next score and HyukJae was finally making progress as a somm, they almost struck a bargain: DongHae would give up on having children and agree to live openly as a couple, if HyukJae would move back and just stay put.

They lived together in Paris for three months, pure bliss, before each of them received a phone call that pulled him away.

_ I just have to do this.  _

And that, as it’s said, was that.

HyukJae is styling his hair in front of a full length-mirror when DongHae gets out of the shower, and they both make a big show of pretending they are not checking each other out. It’s just as ridiculous as their initial charade of DongHae taking the couch, only to slide between HyukJae’s sheets at three a.m. They’ve shared the bed every night since.´

“Wire glasses suit you,” DongHae says. “You can pass off as smart, almost.” 

“Hey, I wouldn’t be such a brat to my landlord.”

DongHae snorts. “What do you mean, landlord? Am I paying you?”

And just as DongHae is pulling up his pants, HyukJae is right behind him, not touching him exactly but close enough that DongHae can  _ feel _ the charge of his presence. He lets out a shivery sigh.

“I’m sure we can figure out an arrangement.”

“Pft. You wish…” DongHae says, but instead of a retort it sounds like a plea.

HyukJae fingers brush against DongHae’s hand. It’s almost a reflex, how they curl together faintly. It’s such a simple gesture, but it’s enough to spike DongHae’s heart rate into frenzy. “Hey, Hae, wanna come to the bar tonight? We’re having some tastings, and Mauro has just tweaked the food menu to fit the new selections” he uses this voice, soft and almost calm, with that deep edge that makes DongHae’s knees a bit weak. “It might blow your mind.”

DongHae’s head is still spinning from the closeness as he nods.


	4. III

**III.**

HyukJae’s bar is not far from his apartment, so they walk. If anyone looks closely, they’d notice that they hold hands all the way there. 

It’s so easy—if they don’t think  _ too  _ much about it, they can slip naturally into the boyfriend role. They know each other so well, it really isn’t hard. 

There is this voice, however, this nagging reminder that HyukJae shouldn’t get used to it.

It’s hard to listen to it when DongHae pulls him closer and rests his head on his shoulder.

“Hey, thanks for letting me tag along… It opens kind of late, though, no?”

“What? No? It’s been open for hours, duh. The afterhours crowd alone pays my utility bills.”

“You, Mr-Control-Freak, let other people open the bar for you?”

“Well, as a rule we take turns with Mauro or Sylvia, but yes, I try to be here always…” HyukJae blushes and looks away. “I’ve just been making time for my guest, y’know?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see DongHae’s pleased smile and can’t help how large his heart feels inside his chest.

“I must say, back entries are  _ so _ much less glamorous” DongHae comments when, instead of using the beautiful main entrance where there’s a line already, they take a turn into a sketchy looking almost-alley.

“Welcome to the hard life of fine drinking.”

DongHae stops and gently pulls HyukJae towards him. They are so close they can feel each other breathe, and HyukJae is very aware of the heat radiating off his best friend’s body. 

“Hm... I could get used to it, I think” DongHae says, voice barely above a whisper, but sure, staring right into HyukJae’s eyes. HyukJae raises an eyebrow, smiles in wonder. Does DongHae mean…?

This is the moment,  _ of course _ , that HyukJae’s executive assistant and proverbial right hand chooses to go out for one last smoke before the dating crowd starts to arrive and things get truly hectic. She freezes, the door half open still, and her eyes move quickly from her boss to this stranger she’s not sure she should recognize.

It’s kind of awkward, because if Sylvia had opened the door a couple of minutes later, she would have interrupted a  _ really  _ inappropriate makeout session. That might have been even more awkward, to be fair. It gets worse when HyukJae introduces them and she openly grins, not bothering to hide the fact that she  _ knows _ . 

“So this is the famous DongHae! He’s real! I can’t fucking believe it.”

DongHae beams, plays up his cluelessness.  _ Famous? How so? _

“We’ve seen this one ditch a date with the most gorgeous actor in the world to try a rare blend or a good vintage, but he’ll never miss a video call with  _ DongHae _ , oh  _ no,  _ gods forbid! The  _ bottles _ he’s missed just to hear your voice, let me tell you.”

HyukJae knows she knows they all know exactly what she’s doing, but he feigns ignorance and ushers them inside. In an attempt to ensure he’ll be able to focus on his job, he sits DongHae at a table far from the main bar and the rest station, at a communal one so he can be his charming self and chat up some of his employee’s guests while they enjoy the drinks and food. 

The night goes as smoothly as it can, considering how the knowledge of  _ DongHae here  _ lingers in his mind and constantly interferes with his otherwise completely decent reasoning skills. Sylvia, of course, can’t let it slide after the fifth glass he almost breaks.

“Ok, please stop! These babies have done nothing wrong.” Pause, and then, “you’re distracted because of him. It’s so unlike you.”

Understatement.

“It’s just the shock of having him here. We hadn’t met up in more than a year, you know? And suddenly… here he is, everyday. That 's all.”

Semi-truth.

“Uh-huh. So… Are you telling me there’s nothing more going on? Seriously?”

“Nah, it isn’t like that between us.”

Lie.

“He’s my best friend, he’s always been there… but not really, since we live so far away, you know? This time, he hasn’t told me when he’s leaving...”  _ and I’m terrified to ask. _ He doesn’t know what answer he’s hoping for, either. 

Disguised truth. 

Here’s the truth: their past choices haven’t been  _ wrong. _ If they had compromised, DongHae wouldn’t be one of the best paids film composers in Korea, nor would he have helped raise his nieces and nephews as much as he did. HyukJae, on his part, wouldn’t have seen half of the places he’s lived and worked in, and wouldn’t be the owner of such a successful business. 

So no, they haven’t chosen poorly, not at all. 

  
It’s just that,  _ maybe,  _ and this is a big  _ may,  _ new choices are surfacing right around the corner.


	5. IV

**IV.**

Because the tasting is such a success they have to turn down clients right until last call, the crew decides to celebrate by going out to a friend’s bar to get absolutely wasted. DongHae is seriously impressed, if a bit concerned that this is HyukJae’s usual routine—the waiters didn’t drink that much, but the kitchen and bar staff were a whole other story, and after running around all night they  _ still  _ have energy to go out.

“Welcome to the restaurant biz, kid” Sylvia says, grabbing André the sous-chef’s arm to catch up to the rest of the group. “We burn our candles bright until we’re too wasted to hold our tools.”

  
DongHae looks alarmed, but because HyukJae hasn’t seemed too overworked these days they’ve been together, he doesn’t comment. Likewise, nobody comments on the fact that HyukJae and DongHae hold hands all the way to the bar as well.

McNulty’s is closed to the general public when they get there, but the owner, Colum, is ready to greet the restaurant crowd and DongHae gets exposed to the most alarming and well-informed alcohol binge he’s ever witnessed. Everyone has different ideas on what they should be drinking, so they each order tasters and debate hotly about why  _ this is, I’m tellin’ ya!, _ the right choice for the evening. DongHae would point out that it’s most certainly  _ not _ evening, and that by the time they choose they will all be too drunk to notice the difference anyways, but he’s honestly just enjoying himself too much.

When they settle on their drinks for the night, however, the whole group is all over DongHae, asking him about his job, how long he’s going to stay, wanting dirt on their boss, and, gosh, what was HyukJae _ like  _ when he was young? 

“Hey! I’m still young, alright?”

“Oh, he was such a dork!” HyukJae gapes at him, mock offended, asks what the fuck in Korean. “He was gangly and awkward and wore his heart on his sleeve” everyone cooes, and HyukJae blushes, elbowing DongHae playfully. “And yet! When we started college he became so cool! He put on this suave persona, started wearing all these designer stuff. Everyone wanted to date him” the look he gave HyukJae made it clear he was part of  _ everyone _ . “And then he dropped out to pursue  _ wine, _ out of all things. He became a  _ legend _ .” 

“Wait, what did you go to college for?” Sylvia asked. “I thought you got your somm degree in France.” 

Partly as retaliation for exposing him, partly because he is so fucking happy, HyukJae hugs DongHae’s shoulder and pulls him towards himself to cut him off. “You brat!” But DongHae is not to be deterred. 

“Not my fault you’ve hidden your dark past...” dramatic pause, and then, “HyukJae got in on a full ride for a dance degree.”

Everyone went  _ crazy _ at that, howling and whooping and drinking even more. 

“No shit!” 

And obviously, because everyone’s drunk, the only other group is from the Italian bistro across their bar, and their pastry chef is on flirty terms with Colum, they hook a phone to the sound system and decide it’s clubbing time. They push HyukJae to an amorphous cypher and make him show off for a while, Sylvia promptly pulling out her phone to record the, in her words, necessary evidence. After they cheer so loud they momentarily drown the music and tease HyukJae mercilessly, everyone jumps in and the place becomes a proper dance floor.

HyukJae, of course, takes his chance to step aside and pull DongHae against him. It’s been a  _ long _ time since they did any kind of partying together (or partying altogether, if they’re honest)—when they’ve visited each other, it’s always been about long walks and heartfelt conversations over drinks. It’s definitely a throwback to their college days, when they were discovering the artsy student scene, new to the concepts of partying and drinking stress away. It feels a little awkward; they are not as young and stupid as they used to be, and it’s silly, isn’t it, how playful they feel in each others arms—like decades have never been through them.

DongHae feels HyukJae’s hands on his hips, his waist, his back, and grins, pushing himself closer. His hands go behind HyukJae’s neck, fingers ghosting there just to feel the other’s arms tighten around him. 

“You’re still really good, by the way” he tells him, because he will never get enough of proud beaming HyukJae.

“Gotta stay in shape. All that alcohol needs to get out somehow” somehow, that makes DongHae cackle—though, to be fair, the standard for humor is pretty low by this point.

Their faces are so close again, DongHae wonders how it’s possible they haven’t kissed yet. The pull is there, so strong it feels magnetic, and yet neither of them bridges that distance. Not even when they go back to their table for a last drink, and they whisper plans that go from a day trip to Bruges to a season in Vienna. It’s so intimate, they way they are angled towards the other, their fingers brushing each other’s, occasionally ghosting the other’s leg and arm. At one point, DongHae feels drowsy and rests his head on HyukJae’s shoulder, feels the warmth of his breath on his cheek and thinks he wants to feel this way forever. 

“Ok, maybe it’s enough for tonight” HyukJae says, nothing but fondness as he pulls both of them off the chairs, pays their tab, and guides them to the entrance. 

It’s that tingly sensation they don’t want to let go of yet, that drumroll of possibilities that sparks through their skin. They will give in, eventually, but for now they want to extend this a little bit longer, just one more night before everything cracks down and something else, whatever that might be, emerges.

It’s dawn already when they walk back to HyukJae’s apartment, hand in hand. 

They fall asleep as soon as their heads touch the pillow. 

It’s dusk already when they wake up, facing each other, the world drowsy and warm, slightly out of focus around them. The curtains are closed but there’s still enough sunlight to make out the other’s features, and it occurs to HyukJae, for the first time in his life, that there’s absolutely nothing else he needs that isn’t keeping DongHae. 

“Hey” DongHae whispers, his voice dry, eyes barely open. It cuts through the silence no more than their breathing.

HyukJae doesn’t say anything; he just leans in and kisses him. 

Here’s a thing, small but significant: it feels different. 

This might be a good thing. 


	6. Chapter 6

**V.**

Here’s something only HyukJae’s real friends know about him: he acts all sassy and aloof, is not afraid to look like a dork because he  _ sells _ it, can seem like the biggest asshole on a street—and he can be so incredibly soft and caring. He cries more often than you’d imagine, and will fight anyone who dares to cross a line. 

Because DongHae is HyukJae’s best friend, he knows this better than anyone.

DongHae’s been crashing at HyukJae’s for two weeks when the latter decides to set aside a Sunday to take them both to Parc du Cinquantenaire. He packs an actual basket, too, with a strangely sacrilegious mix of items: French wine, of course, but also Belgian fries, and kimchi, and a cherry pie just for the aesthetics. Just in case, some truffles, and at the last minute he decides on some strawberry milk cartons for the way there, plus some kimbap. 

They peck at everything here and there, not really hungry but too excited to stay still. 

There’s been something passing between them since that kiss, something that resembles a lingering memory but it’s actually new. It tingles. It pops up at random moments. It’s relentless. It’s overtaken their minds.

After that kiss there haven’t been many more, and it’s been weird than this isn’t weirder. It feels natural, to pause, to tread lightly, because there’s something heavy bubbling up. 

In the end, they clear up and lie on the blanket, side by side, almost touching but not. 

“Hey, I’ve been thinking...” DongHae starts, looking up at the sky. HyukJae breeches some of the distance to squeeze DongHae’s fingers lightly with his own. He doesn’t turn towards him, however. He just waits. “I… could move here.”

HyukJae looks at him then. Only slightly, though. He turns his head just enough to make out DongHae’s expression. 

“Why?”

DongHae shrugs a bit. 

“It’s time for things to change, you know?”

In case you haven’t realized already, it’s because DongHae and HyukJae are kind of the love of each other’s lives, that they both get what DongHae means. 


	7. Coda

**Coda.**

California suits them both. 

How they got there is a bit fuzzy; it started with an argument about where they should go on vacations which morphed into a discussion of whether they would get an apartment that was theirs, which after a while became about marriage, and afterwards about what to have for dinner. Somehow, California appeared like the answer to a fuzzy, convoluted question. 

But, yes, it suits them. 

DongHae loves the beaches as much as the desert. Any chance he gets he takes HyukJae on endless drives, just talking and listening to music and soaking each other in. Not that he gets too many; work’s been pouring in ever since they got here. DongHae enjoys the challenge, loves especially when he gets to work on children’s animated films, floods their apartment with photocopied storyboards and tiny 3D models of the characters.

HyukJae does the consultant thing for a while, travels the country telling people why they should drink this or that, but soon gets bored of it. He decides to brave the odds and opens his own tiny bar. It gains traction quickly, partly because HyukJae’s fucking good at his job but also because he has a flair for the cool, and soon he lures in investors. Soon, they add a second and third locations. Then two more; Portland, and, he can’t really believe this, New York.

They get a dog. A big one. HyukJae loves dogs but is unsure of their capacity to take care of one (honestly, he’s more worried about DongHae’s capacity to prevent the labrador from trashing their apartment while HyukJae’s gone). When DongHae starts travelling for work too, they realize their son needs a sibling, so they get the dalmatian. Although they love her, she makes the apartment feel too crowded, which calls for a house instead. This is how they end up with a somewhat secluded wood-and-brick cabin and five (yes, that’s right), dogs. 

This house, too, suits them. 

Of course, there are always tiny downsides. 

HyukJae will never admit this out loud, lest some of his coworkers murder him during a meeting, but the wines and beers just aren’t as good as what he still sometimes thinks of “back home”. He also finds it hard to deal with the overtly-personal showy corporate ways of the Americans, and misses his friends in Brussels, with whom he’d sometimes just hop onto trains to other cities, even countries, to crash a tasting that promised to be particularly fantastic.

DongHae admits to everyone who will hear him that he misses his family every single day. It seems like he’s always on a videocall with someone different, and sometimes HyukJae has to pull him away from his laptop or phone. He overworks himself when important dates are coming, cries when he can’t attend a graduation, is a hit with the neighbors and coworkers but doesn’t have it in him to socialize further without HyukJae by his side.

Still, they make it work.

They try to catch each other every morning and every night. They leave tiny post-it with reminders and affectionate messages, never stop texting throughout the day, sharing time even through distance. Every few months, they’ll take some days off to spend together, never too many but always well enjoyed. They sleep in, though HyukJae always wakes up first and orders breakfast from their favorite place. DongHae responds by insisting they eat in the living room, only because he knows how HyukJae hates eating in bed. He does the dishes, too. They watch films and kiss and play videogames and kiss some more and talk and make love and constantly lose track of time.

This, all of it, suits them.

Here’s the thing: ultimately, they just choose to be together. Day after day. 

**Author's Note:**

> Things I told myself when I started this:  
> 1\. This is a one time thing (there might be a college-au coming your way, more closely influenced by the song that originally inspired this one)  
> 2\. This is only going to be a drabble  
> 3\. I'm not going to go into an EunHae spiral (ha)  
> 4\. It's not going to take me too long... (HA)  
> 5\. If it takes me too long, I'll just abandon it (HA HA)
> 
> Anyways, I hope someone enjoys this very random thing~


End file.
